Why I meditate.
My meditation practice has changed my life. It has made me more calm, given me greater clarity of mind, and improved my relationships with those around me.
My journey towards a daily meditation practice started several years ago, when my wife planted a seed in my head. At the time, we were going through an unusually stressful period, both personally (extended family health issues) and professionally. One summer weekend, while out at the house we rented to get out of the city and “relax,” my normally calm and patient wife suddenly snapped at me. Her criticism was that, while I was physically there with her and our two daughters, I wasn’t actually there. She asked me where I was. It was a jarring experience because a) this was atypical for my wife and b) it had to do with not being there for my daughters, which is not something I take lightly. I realized she was right, I wasn’t there, because I was lost in my own head. I was thinking and stressing about all the things we were going through, and while physically present, totally not there mentally.
That incident got me thinking about what I could do to improve. I had read about an experiment done by Shane Snow, on Tim Ferriss’ blog. Shane attempted to use the Muse device to “re-wire” his brain in 2 weeks. I am the kind of person who responds very well to data, which I have found helps me stick with and develop new habits. I figured this “brain sensing head band,” that would collect data about the state of my mind, would be a great way to try meditation. So I bought the Muse headband, installed the app, and immediately began my journey. The app suggested starting with as little as 3 minutes, which seemed so short but in practice felt like a lifetime! I did it consistently enough for a few weeks to begin to feel some of the effects, but as it happens, life got in the way and I stopped. Several months later, I decided to give it another shot, this time I began guided meditation with the Headspace app. This time I stuck with it. If I didn’t have time to practice in the morning, I would find time during the day or at night. I started with 5 minute sessions, and have now graduated to 15 minute sessions, daily. It has become easier with time, although I realize I am still at the very early stages of this journey.
I am going into my eighth month of daily guided meditation, and the results have been nothing short of life changing. In my younger years, I was always the kind of person that thought my emotions were my enemy. I would consistently suppress emotions that arose on a day to day basis. On the surface, I showed the world a calm demeanor, someone who was on an even keel. However, the truth is, suppressing your emotions is like trying to keep a beach ball under water, at some point you lose your grip and it pops up. This would result in emotional outbursts, at home, at work, with friends. I recognized a life long pattern of this behavior. In addition, I have always been plagued with what many describe as a “monkey brain,” an over-active brain leading to hours and hours of thinking about anything and everything. This typically led to really bad sleep at night, and lack of true focus during the day.
So what’s changed? What my practice has taught me, is that emotions and thoughts are natural, you cannot suppress them. However, I have completely changed my relationship with them. Now, when I feel an emotion, I just note it, accept it, and move on. If I find myself deep in thought about something, I simply try to let it go, in favor of being present. I find myself paying much more attention to what is in the moment, while much less focused on the past or the future. I realize there is nothing I can do to change the past, and there is likely very little I can do in the moment to affect bigger picture worries of the future. Some refer to is as living mindfully. The old me, walking down the street, would be deep in thought about the meeting I just had, likely stressing about something I said or did that maybe wasn’t quite perfect. The new me walks down the street simply paying attention to how my body feels with each step I take, I notice the people I walk by, the architectural details of the buildings around me. I have begun to notice how beautiful nature is, taking in the occasional sunset, sunrise or a pretty flower in passing (now I know where the saying “stop and smell the roses” comes from).
What has this meant practically? I am truly more calm than I have ever been. I consciously enjoy spending time with my kids and have more patience with them. I hardly have emotional outbursts. I am more focused at work, and I handle business negotiations better. I have moments of clarity that I have never had before.
My wife is happier, my kids are happier, I am happier.
I put these words down because I truly feel that more people could use this type of practice to make their lives better. You can research and try different types of meditation and see what works for you, but the important part is to STICK with it. The end goal is to live in the present, not letting your mind get the best of you.
Rebuttals:
“I don’t have the time.” Bullshit, be honest, you can find the time, if it is important you will prioritize it.
“My mind cannot be calm, I have monkey brain.” Exactly why you need to start, please see above.
“It’s hippy dippy nonsense.” You are either immature or insecure, either way meditation could help, also let me know if you need a hug.
